Friday, November 27, 2009

8 things that I really hope will be in the UFO movie, but probably won't be

I recently learned, by way of Bloody Disgusting, that a movie version of one of my all time favorite TV shows, the 1960s British science fiction series UFO, is being planned with Dawson's Creek, Fringe star Joshua Jackson in the role of Paul Foster. Of course, I don't have very high hopes for this project, especially given the disappointing standard set by other recent screen adaptations of Gerry Anderson properties. But, then again, I'm not all that hard to please, either. I mean, I liked the Avengers movie, for Christ's sake!

So, anyway, below is a list of some elements from the TV series that, if they were to be included in the movie, would lead me to forgive a multitude of sins. None of them probably will be, though. I've included explanation only where necessary, as, in most cases, the sheer awesomeness is apparent from the photos alone.

1. The Moonbase uniforms

This one is a total deal breaker. If I don't see the SHADO Moonbase staffed by silver-clad women in purple wigs, I am spending my ten dollars elsewhere. And damn it, filmmakers, do not forget the tear-away leggings with optional silver mini-skirt for off duty wear!

2. Gull-wing doors

3. Nehru jackets

4. Moonbase Interceptors with only one missile

For those who don't know, the Interceptors were the SHADO Moonbase's last line of defense against marauding alien aircraft. A very porous line of defense, it turns out, due to the tactical oversight of equipping each of the Interceptors with only one missile and then launching them just three at a time. Thus, once they inevitably failed to do the job, all involved would take consolation in the fact that they had done their best and brace for the worst, paving the way for yet another plot-advancing breach of the organization's security. Undoubtedly, someone will get the bright idea that they are "improving" upon the original concept by correcting this oversight, but they will be wrong.

5. Lack of affect

Some blame the fact that producers Gerry and Sylvia Anderson were more accustomed to working with marionettes for the combination of wooden demeanor and monotone line delivery exhibited by many in the series' cast. Whatever the reason for it, it contributed nicely to the off-kilter ambiance, rife as the show's story lines were with both moral ambiguity and the more earth-bound variety of alienation. There is reason to hope that this will be retained in the big screen version., thanks to Mad Men's recent bringing of the whole "deer in the headlights" style of acting back into fashion.

6. Skydiver

We might actually get this one, thanks to the movie's director also being an established special effects director, and thus undoubtedly a big nerd constitutionally incapable of not appreciating the original series most awesome super-vehicle.

7. Ed Straker's hair

8. The theme tune


houseinrlyeh aka Denis said...

Well, I think (and I say this with a lot of love for Fringe) Joshua Jackson at least will have no problems with a disaffected acting style, so there really is hope for this point.

Keith said...

I watch this series in its entirety at least once a year. Any hopes I had for ANYTHING cool being adapted from stuff from the 60s/early 70s that I loved was dashed as soon as I watched the PRISONER remake.

Prof. Grewbeard said...

as an aside, i've never seen more men learing at more women in any other tv show ever. that will be in the movie, you can bet on that!

Todd said...

House: Good point. If I can at least look forward to people acting as if their entire faces had been injected with Botox, that's something.

Keith: I know. In reality the only good thing that comes out of these remakes is that they give us a chance to focus on those things that we loved about the originals while at the same time complaining bitterly. So it's a win-win is what I'm saying.

Prof: Very ugly men leering, I might add.