In these past twenty weeks that the Animalympics have been raging, we've seen in competition seven dogs, three chimps, two elephants, three birds, one snake, two horses, a static photograph of something that is either a marmoset or an owl monkey, and a slightly past-his-prime Bollywood hero in a bear costume -- in other words, a comprehensive cross-section of the entire animal kingdom. It's been a gas and a giggle, but we all knew that in the end there had to be a winner, one anipal who dominated over all the rest.
And now it's time for you to choose. Please avail yourselves of the homely but effective Blogger polling gadget up top of yon sidebar to let everyone know how you feel -- how you really, really feel -- about the revenge-crazed and perhaps even gun-wielding South Asian animal star that is closest to your heart. As you'll see, I have broken up the competitors into two tiers, with the first ten anipals up for voting this week, and the remaining ten submitted for your harsh but fair appraisal two weeks hence. When all the votes are in, the winner from each group will face off in a completely figurative battle to the death, from which will emerge our supreme victor. Huzzah!
And now, in order to refresh your memory, a re-introduction to our first ten competitors, with links to their full profiles:
Sheroo The Wonder Bird from Dharam Veer
"A chicken in every pot!"
Moti from Mard
"Beware of imitations!"
Pedro The Ape Bomb
"Vote for Pedro!"
Peter from Raani aur Jaani
"I'm not afraid to get my paws dirty!"
Allah Rakha from Coolie
"I'm not here to make friends!"
Badal from Mard
"A vote for Moti is a wasted vote!"
Zippy from Insaniyat
"I wuv you!"
Puppy from Hunterwali
"Leadership you can believe in!"
Chimp in a Fez from Jaani Dost
"I'm throwing my hat in the ring!"
The Terrifying, Adorable Dog from James Bond 777
"Look me in the eye and tell me you're not going to vote for me!"
I've got to say that, when I started this competition, I thought that it was going to be a pretty easy one to call. But that was before I was introduced to such strong contenders as Moti, the weeping serial killer canine from Teri Meherbaniyan and Charles, the breast-fixated, self-launching snake from Doodh Ka Karz, to name just two. Now I think it's fair to say that the field is wide open. All the more reason not to let your certainty of your anipal's shoo-in status render you complacent. Vote! Vote! Vote!
And one final note: Though it might seem that I have preferences of my own in this matter, I swear to undertake my duties as arbiter of this competition in a spirit of complete impartiality. (Oh, and BTW, those of you who would prefer to can send your vote by email to luchadiaries[at]gmail[dot]com -- just make sure to put the word "PEDRO" in the subject line.]
Past Misdeeds: Yoga (2009) - *Through the transformation of the glorious WTF-Films into the even more glorious **Exploder Button** and the ensuing server changes, some of my old column...
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