Wednesday, February 3, 2010

It's the 4DK Animalympics! Round 19



Charles from Doodh Ka Karz

Skill Set: Living javelin, brilliant military strategist, and bearer of a photographic memory; will basically dedicate his life to you in exchange for a fairly small amount of human breast milk

As I said before, Charles is not really the name of Doodh Ka Karz's lead cobra. But, because I feel that all anipals should be given the dignity of a proper name -- especially since, let's face it, they really are the true stars of these movies -- I bestowed this one upon him. And Charles seemed to fit, due to it denoting -- to my mind, at least -- a certain amount of sophistication. Charles is far from being your average stunt cobra, though he does indeed project himself through the air like some kind of disconcertingly slimy arrow with a small, expressionless face on it. He is instead a Cobra of both delicate sensibilities and finely honed intellect, capable of both calmly leading his cobra troops into battle and offering solace to a grieving mother. Plus, he drank some milk from Aruna Irani's tit. Holy shit! If only snakes had tear ducts, Charles would present us with a package that not even the great Moti could contend with. And ladies, I hear he's single (especially if you're nursing).

7 comments:

sunil said...

Reminds me of the time my friend, in all innocence, chose the following government slogan as the class "proverb for the day": Breastfeeding is the best policy. Ah. Doodh ka karz indeed..

Beth said...

I am hyperventilating with giggles and trying not to be sick. Bravo!

Todd said...

I couldn't ask for a better reaction than that. My work is done.

sunil said...

Regarding Charles single status - snakes ARE shape-changing phallic dieties worshiped to ensure fertility. :)

Todd said...

He should mention that in his Craigslist ad.

Rum said...

Hilarious once again, I love how all the animals are mostly vigilantes for owners who've died! They could rival Amitabh's vijay at some point! I recently caught charles in action, and my goodness what a stunt snake he is! And perhaps if he had tear ducts he might give Olivier Brownie Moti a run for his money!

memsaab said...

Oh alas! that the lactation ship has sailed for me. Alas.