Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Haseena Atom Bomb (Pakistan, 1990)

If you wanted to make the argument that sleaze is an unavoidable byproduct of puritanism, you could do a lot worse for an Exhibit "A" than Haseena Atom Bomb. And I say that with full awareness that my own country, with its dizzying sexual hypocrisy, is in no position to cast stones in that regard. It is these United States, after all, whose porn industry seems to grow in inverse proportion to the sanitization of our mainstream cinema screens, and whose media dedicates as much energy to sexualizing underage pop stars as they do to working themselves into an apocalyptic tizzy over sexting. And let's not spare our pals the Japanese in this matter, either; as their own strident censorship laws, which prevent the depiction of human genitalia or penetration even in hardcore pornography, have lead the marketplace to fill the resulting vacuum with perverted visual delicacies like tentacle porn.

In contrast, Pashto language movies like Haseena Atom Bomb are not even explicit by Western standards. But when you consider that the members of their target audience -- men living in the tribal region along Pakistan's border with Afghanistan -- are forbidden by custom from even gazing upon women outside their immediate family, you get a sense of the yawning gap between public conduct and private desire that they address.

Haseena reminds me a lot of 1970s Telegu action films like Pistolwali, only with everything turned up to eleven. The women are more voluptuous. (Okay, they're fat, to be completely honest -- something on which I imagine even the most sensitized proponents of positive body image would have to concur.) The dances are raunchier, and the camera angles used to film them even more disconcertingly intimate. On top of that, the action is even more frantic and cartoonish; No blow can me shown to have connected with its target sufficiently unless it is shown several times in rapid succession, with the deafening sound accompanying that blow being enough to make Bollywood's trusty old "dishoom dishoom" sound like a limp slap with a wet paper towel in comparison.

Correspondingly, the histrionics on display are over the top to the extent of losing sight of it completely, with every line delivered in a full-throated bellow and every hysterically caricatured reaction shot accompanied by an ear-shattering clap of thunder. Yes, impossible as it may be to believe, Pashto filmmakers offer up a cinema that even Pistolwali director K.S.R. Doss -- a man whom I had previously thought was about as committed an enemy of subtlety as one could encounter -- can look down upon for its brashness and lack of refinement. Add to this a lack of budget and technical skill made plain by the film's grade school play level sets and abundance of dodgy camera work and the picture is complete. Haseena Atom Bomb comes at you as a film whose every mottled frame screams its utter trashiness at you, holding you forcefully by the shoulders as it does so in order that you may fully savor its ghastly, crazy homeless person breath.

Haseena and its like are also similar to Telegu films like Pistolwali in their heavy reliance on revenge themes - which is not surprising, given the prominent part vengeance plays in the Pashtun people's traditional code. In Haseena's case, we get, not just one, but three avengers. For starters, there is our titular heroine, announced at the film's beginning by a theme song, "Main Hoon Haseena Atom Bomb", whose picturization sees starlet Mussarat Shaheen's every utterance of her name punctuated by a thrust of her generous posterior and stock footage of a volcano erupting. Haseena is set on the vengeance trail after she is subjected to a protracted gang rape at the hands of a band of leering thugs on her wedding night, an act which her attackers top off by stringing her husband from the rafters and forcing him to stand on Haseena's shoulders until the poor woman's collapse from exhaustion sends him swinging.

Understandably hacked off over this treatment, Haseena sets out to murder her assailants one by one, an act which she typically accomplishes after first tantalizing her intended prey with a seductive dance. And these dances, once seen, are not soon to be forgotten: an unholy alliance between obese flesh and clingy synthetic fabrics -- often made even more constricting by the liberal application of water -- captured by the heat-seeking lens of a resolutely crotch-fixated camera. Thus is the fly drawn into our heroine's web, at which point he ends up being on the receiving end of some extremely loud fake kung fu before being strung up himself in the same manner as Haseena's betrothed. (As a side note, I wanted to mention that one of these dance numbers features Haseena singing a song that's set to the tune of "Kaate Nahin Katte Ye Din" from Mr. India.)

But alongside all of this we also get a parallel narrative -- a "lost and found" story of sorts -- about a brother and sister, separated by tragedy, who each pursue their own path to vengeance. He is a portly fellow in an awful disco shirt who rides around on a white horse, heroically intervening in the frequent gang rapes that seem to have replaced casual greetings in Haseena's milieu. His weapon of choice: A huge hypodermic needle, which he uses to spear and then drain the blood from his opponents. She is an equally portly (not judging; describing) young lady with a taste for leopard print spandex who prefers the use of her fists when it comes to giving lowlifes their comeuppance -- and who comes equipped with a ringleted paramour who's a ringer for the singer in REO Speedwagon. In addition, Haseena somehow also manages to shoehorn in a subplot involving Inspector Shabana, a lady cop who, when not hot on giant hypo guy's trail, is having romantic daydreams about her boss.

In fact, there is so much going on in Haseena Atom Bomb and -- for those English speakers like myself trying to fathom it without the aid of subtitles -- so little obvious connection between it, that, had there not been a brief scene in which Haseena and hypodermic guy appeared together, I would have just assumed that it was several different movies patched together. It didn't help matters that the version of Haseena I ended up getting my hands on appears to be severely truncated, clocking in at just over two hours when, as I understand it, the original is more in the two-and-a-half to three hour range. However, I'm not convinced that having the missing footage would serve to tie things together all that much, since the film's director, Saeed Ali Khan, doesn't give any signs of being all that concerned about doing so himself. At the film's conclusion, Haseena's path never proves to converge with that of the other characters, with each of their stories reaching their violent crescendos separately as the action cuts back and forth between them (in Hypo guy's case, involving some pretty nifty forklift-fu). Given that, I imagine that most of what I'm missing from Haseena Atom Bomb is more of the sexy dancing and implied sexual violence that appears to be its reason for being. Which is perfectly okay, really. I got the idea.

To be sure, Haseena Atom Bomb is a singular viewing experience, providing a not inconsiderable amount of trashy thrills to anyone who's up for the ride. But there's such an unremitting grotesquery to those thrills that I'm inclined to keep my experience of it at just that: singular. Omar Khan, in his review of the film over at The Hotspot Online, is right to see similarities in it to the early work of John Waters. But while, even at their most debased, Waters' freak shows always had an air of the celebratory about them, Haseena's suffocatingly masculine, crotch-cam view of the world it presents implicates its viewer in a spectacle that is all unalloyed prurience. As such - and in spite of all the reckless energy put into that presentation - it comes off as feeling more than a tad dreary.


memsaab said...

Ah Todd how I love your writing, am still giggling. Glad you watched this so I don't have to, although I have to repeat that "Haseena Atom Bomb" needs to be used as a title for a better film, hopefully starring Helen.

Todd said...

Thanks, Memsaab. Believe it or not, this is a movie that I've been wanting to see for a really long time. Now that I have, I can't say that I'm disappointed. In fact, it's pretty much exactly what I expected. Which leads to the question: What the hell is wrong with me?

Cindy said...

Wow, that hypodermic needle is really something. I'll definitely give this film a pass, but the review was certainly entertaining.

houseinrlyeh said...

Ah, yes, now someone will have to dig out Hitlar to make the world perfect.
I don't think I'm gonna pass this one, the giant syringe alone makes sure of that.

sunil said...

In all honesty (not that I have seen the movie) I don't think it is a big jump from Manmohan Desai to Haseena Atom bomb. :)

frequent gang rapes that seem to have replaced casual greetings in Haseena's milieu

Ah, the artistic vision! Parallels to pet dogs(who love to hump the legs of any friendly visitor as a way of greeting) along with the crotch cam, continues!

prof. grewbeard said...

i've seen clips from this one and often wondered whether i could handle it. great review though!

Keith said...

This has been on my "need to get" list for a long time as well, probably thanks to Hot Spot Online or something someone at Mondo Macabro did to me. I mean, like House said -- the guy is armed with a giant hypodermic needle.

If I am properly informed on my global sleaze, the preferred perverse dance in parts of Pakistan is called mujra, and that sounds like what the A-Bomb is doing here. It consists mostly of women on the large side (that being the prevailing taste in the region) stomping and flailing about in an awkward and graceless fashion, occasionally lifting up their shirts or pulling down their inevitable Lycra bike shorts to give lascivious onlookers a glimpse of the goods. The end result is sort of like watching Aja Kong attempt to mimic a Candy Johnson go-go dance.

There is no irony in the fact that the word verification for a comment about Haseena Atom Bomb is "dross."

sunil said...

the preferred perverse dance in parts of Pakistan is called mujra, and that sounds like what the A-Bomb is doing here. It consists mostly of women on the large side (that being the prevailing taste in the region) stomping and flailing about in an awkward and graceless fashion, occasionally lifting up their shirts or pulling down their inevitable Lycra bike shorts to give lascivious onlookers a glimpse of the goods. The end result is sort of like watching Aja Kong attempt to mimic a Candy Johnson go-go dance.

WTF is wrong with you? The mujra is nothing but normal standard classical South Asian Dances. You know things like Kathak.

sunil said...

Ok, I should have googled to see what it nowadays stands for. :)

Keith said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Keith said...

No worries. The whole modern trend is an extrapolation of old courtesan dances. And Pakistan decided to really sleaze it up with nudity and the thrusting of the crotch into the camera.

But let this be a lesson to you -- never again question my knowledge of things sleazy and profane!

sunil said...


Since these ladies of Heera Mandi ARE mostly the descendents (atleast in spirit if not also in reality) of courtesans in the Mughal court, I am honestly disappointed in them for cheapening the high-value, high paying girlfriend experience. :)

Beth said...

I'm not sure I really want to know, any of the men dance in this? From the looks of it, they're even less visually "movie star" than the women. I just watched the title song on youtube and if Bollywood Fugly were more active I'd have material for a week. YIKES. The backup dancers also bear investigation: they look so nervous and the moves so PE-like!

Todd said...

Now that you mention it, none of the men did dance in this -- a fact that I think we can file under "thank heaven for small mercies". As for the ladies, I don't want to cast aspersions as a result of ignorance (perhaps Sunil can help me here), but my understanding is that the women in these films were typically recruited from Lahore's red light district.

Keith said...

Justw atched that same video. I don't know what I like better -- the co-opting of "Rockit" or the fact that she can apparently make volcanoes erupt by thrusting her rump at them.

Todd said...

Keith, although I know full well that getting all pedantic about 80s instrumental hits consigns me to the lowest circle of nerd hell, I can't resist the compulsion to point out that that is not "Rockit", but instead "Axel F." from the Beverly Hills Cop soundtrack. Oh, it burns!

Beth said...

I think I'm going to have to borrow one of those outfits of hers and GO TO TOWN. It's so refreshing when people on screen are no better dancers than I am.

sunil said...

the women in these films were typically recruited from Lahore's red light district.

Psst. Don't tell anyone but many of the gorgeous heroines in bollywood too were recruited from there. It is not actually shameful, just something sleazehounds need not know. :)

sunil said...

Err, just so that I don't give the wrong ideas, they were born in that environment and sent off to films. said...

This is a really nice review.

Anonymous said...

Come on , no one is allowed to review Pashto movie ...It is against the constitution of Pakistan...

check this out too

Todd said...

That occurred to me! And I think I can say with confidence that, if not for The Hot Spot, no one outside of Pakistan would know these movies existed.

jack said...

You had a copy with English subtitles? where did you get it. I've been looking for a copy for months.

Todd said...

Jack: Nope, no subtitles on mine either. Hence some of the holes in my synopsis and me simply referring to one of the characters as "Hypodermic Guy"

Vinayak said...

Hey Todd! I have no idea why but I have seen a bunch of these Pashto movies.

A couple of years ago, quite late at night, caught these on a Pakistani Cable Channel. The fact that the films were heavily censored made it all the more a mind bending experience.

Todd said...

Hey Vinayak. Love your blog! Now thinking I should pay more attention to the upper reaches of my own cable dial. Ah, the dubious benefits of insomnia.

Generic Cialis said...

It is a great movie, it have some interesting points of view, I think that I will rented for the weekend.

Todd said...

You're so right, Generic Cialis! Haseena Atom Bomb really does have some interesting points of view. And you should absolutely go down to Blockbuster and rent it tonight! And if they don't have it, you absolutely should contact their corporate offices and demand that they carry it.

Carol said...

Generic Cialis is so much more positive than Generic Viagra.

Anonymous said...

As a Pashtun, I can't tell you how awesome and hilarious it is to see a Western take on our horror cinema. Those films are really from the bottom of the barrel - even we don't usually bother with the stuff. Your reviews are just awesome. Keep up the great work! :)

Todd said...

Thank you so much, Anonymous. I'm glad to have you reading. Thank you also for being one of the people who has made my review of Haseena Atom Bomb the single most read post on this site. What that says to me is that there are a lot of people out there who would rather read about it than actually watch it!

Alex said...

It has been some time since I visited website with such high quality information. Thank you so much for providing such helpful information. This is really informative and I will for sure refer my friends the same. Thanks.
PDO Threads
thread lift
thread face lift
face thread lift
thread lift face
thread lift treatment
thread lift for face
thread lift procedure
non surgical thread face lift
skin threading face lift
neck thread lift
facelift with thread
thread neck lift
threading for face lift
fine thread lifting
thread lift neck
thread nose lift
non surgical facelift threading
thread lift surgery
polydioxanone thread lift
face lifting with threads
facelift by threading
non surgical thread lift
golden thread face lift
face lift thread facelift
nova lift face lift