I don't normally review American films, but I felt that my inaugural viewing of the notorious stink bomb Gymkata deserved to be commemorated, so I took to my Twitter account to live tweet the experience. The results, which will only make sense if you've seen the movie -- if even that -- are transcribed below. And, yes, you're about to read a blog post consisting entirely of regurgitated Tweets, but, to put that in perspective, I just spent 90 minutes watching Gymkata.
I'm about to watch Gymkata for the first time. #gymkata
This should work out well, seeing as I hate gymnastics, white people, and jingoistic 1980s movies. #gymkata
So what is this, the country of Euro-Mongolia? #gymkata
Wow. Boyfriend's junk is totally up in my face. #gymkata
"Interesting background. Her mother was Indonesian." Wait, like _Indonesian_ Indonesian? Crazy! #gymkata
Among mythical foreign countries, only Briesylvania is higher in cholesterol than Parmestan. #gymkata
#Gymkata's image of the non-Western world reminds me of old maps where they'd just put a picture of a sea monster over any unknown territory.
A toothless hag! Wait, a tongueless hag! Damn, a hag's mouth just can't catch a break. #gymkata
I'll admit I'm surprised by the orchestral score. I was expecting that infomercial synth music most shitty 80s action movies had. #gymkata
Why are these ninjas not clearly labeled? #gymkata
Dictator or no, I'm glad Harry Reems finally got his own country. #gymkata
Offended by the depiction of the mentally handicapped in #gymkata, yet support it's employment of them.
The cornfield scene: Damn dirty ninjas! #gymkata
The Game is like a more xenophobic Amazing Race. All that's missing is some white debs calling Parmestan "ghetto". #gymkata
The thankless job of a flag ninja. #gymkata
I'd like to think that if anyone in #gymkata won an Oscar, they'd bring one of the flag ninjas onstage for acknowledgement by the crowd.
His parents named him Thorg and they got a Thorg. #gymkata
We're crazy and we're laughing! Guh-huh-ha-ha! #gymkata
I'm whimpering while stabbing you! #gymkata
...aaand Lucio Fulci steps in for his directing cameo. #gymkata
The pommel horse scene, something that couldn't possibly be as ridiculous as it's been described, yet is. #gymkata
I think it would have been better if the crazy people all stepped back and gave him the slow clap after the pommel horse. #gymkata
This soundtrack features a lot of ambient goat, yak, and sheep. #gymkata
Evil Kevin Sorbo must die! #gymkata
This actress was Tia Carrere before there was Tia Carrere #gymkata
"Based on the novel 'The Terrible Game'." Can't even touch that. It's like the logic problem that short-circuits the robot's brain #gymkata
OK, that wasn't so... God, who am I kidding? #gymkata
Smoke and Mirrorshades: Barbecue and Cyberpunk
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This week’s Guest Star is long time friend of the Gutter Jared Shurin.
Jared is the editor of The Big Book of Cyberpunk. His previous anthologies
have been...
18 hours ago
2 comments:
Never heard of this, but Kevin Sorbo? Is it like watching the Olympics gymnastics but with ninjas? Only bad? (or so I gather)...
The poster really says it all: "The SKILL of gymnastics, the KILL of karate!"
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